The Perfectionist
by bluewingedangel81
Summary: Uh-oh. Mary's here. Crack fic- makes fun of Sues. I own nothing except for Momo. Written bad on purpose, don't take it seriously
1. Chapter 1

_This is a fic that I'm writing to make fun of Mary Sues. I just get sick of reading those mushy amounts of shit where the characters are completely OOC. _

Chapter 1 Introducing the Sue

'Class, we have a new student at Brawler High,' the teacher- oh I mean the sensei (just to make this sound more fakely Japanese) said, she waved her hand to the shy girl who was trying her best to hide behind her.

'H-Hello, I'm Momo Makimoto,' she stuttered, 'I'm Julie's younger cousin.'

The girl was beautiful. She had long, auburn hair and large amethyst orbs for eyes. Her hair was streaked silver and pale blue, she wore a tight pink, tube top and long white jeans. Her necklace was made of a real diamond on the first bead, a real ruby on the second bead, a real- (the authoress goes into extreme detail, describing every single part of Momo and how expensive her stuff was).

Momo blushed from all the attention, all the boys were staring up at her, a slight drool of saliva dripping onto their desks. The only boy who wasn't paying attention was the smart nerd, Marucho, who was staring out the window as if the pigeon pecking at an old pizza slice was extremely interesting.

'WOW, Julie,' Dan- I mean- my bad- the brunette said, there was a puddle of saliva on his pants, 'Your cousin is HOT.'

Momo flushed until she looked like a fresh cherry, causing all the boys in the classroom, (and a few girls, authoress retches), to have fully fledged erections in their pants. As the girls in the class groaned at the scarring, over informed statement that the now green authoress, the te- I mean sensei sent Momo to sit next to Run- I mean the bluenette. (Geez, WTF. BLUENETTE?)

The class went perfectly due to Momo's heavenly presence- she was like an angel sent from God. No scratch that- to the dazed, idiotic, (blind, must I add) boys, Momo WAS God. O.o

They had a little Maths quiz, of cause Momo got TWENTY out of twenty- because she was perfect. She also got all her spellings correct- even words like 'diarrhoea' and 'photosynthesis'. She also knew all the cities of Japan of by heart and even knew how to bake cookies. COOKIES.

COOKIES.

As in C-O-O-K-I-E-S.

I'll shut up now.

After class a Shu- I mean black-long-haired-guy went up to Momo, large, hot pink hearts in his eyes and shrieked to the sky- 'MOMO! YOU ARE MY ONE TRUE LOVE! I LOVE YOU AND STUFF- SO LET'S KISS AND GET MARRIED AND HAVE 473847293473298472 BABIES TOGETHER SO YEAH!'

*sweat drop*. Shun, what are you on?

Momo's powers of OOC had already rubbed in on her helpless victim- in this case, Shun.

Poor, poor, innocent Shun didn't know he was going to be scarred for life for the next few months.

'No way! BACK OF YOU BASTARD!' D- I mean brunette guy yelled, 'In fan fictions I'm always called the brunette 'cause I have brown hair and stuff! This may confuse readers who find it extremely annoying to find a character described by their physical trait instead of their actual name!'

'WTF, dude,' the raven cried, 'WANT TO TAKE THIS OUTSIDE?'

_Well hope you liked that! What do you think? Please review- like it? Hate it? I'm a parody writer so I write lots of parody. There will be some chapters after this- that's all for now!_


	2. Chapter 2

_I'm back and with Chapter 2- thank you so much for all your reviews!_

Chapter 2: The Fight

Last Chapter-

'_YOU WANNA TAKE THIS OUTSIDE?'_

'SURE, BRING IT ON GUY- WHO-IS-OLDER-THAN-ME-BY-AN-YEAR!' Dan called.' I challenge you to a battle with my ULTIMATE INVINCIBLE- _DRAGO_!'

Some corny, dramatic music plays in the background as Drago rolls out and pops his little head up. 'Daniel- I mean my BRUNETTE owner, I'm too tired for this right now, why do I have to battle?'

'To win the love of the fair, the innocent and the vulnerable,' Dan said dramatically, his knee on his desk, his arms outstretched in the air like Hamlet from the Shakespearean play: 'Hamlet' only cornier. Tears rolled down his eyes and plopped onto Drago who winced.

'Oi! Stop that!' Drago cried, in fear of drowning in his brunette owner's salty liquid from his eyes, 'Why do we have to brawl to prove everything! You know, come to think of it, we always brawl to settle things- why can't you just have a fist fight instead! It's cruel to make animals fight each other!' Drago whined going completely OOC.

'Well, Bakugan aren't animals!' Dan argued.

'Animal cruelty!' Drago cried indignantly.

'WILL YOU TWO SHUT UP?' Shun yelled.

'P'Please don't f-fight,' Momo stuttered as Shun and Dan stuttered bickering like an old, married couple. The teacher who had somehow remained silent throughout the whole chaos, (because she was an unimportant character) went outside to photocopy some shit for the class.

'SHUN!' Dan shrieked, making the ceiling shake dust onto the students who immediately ducked underneath their desks, 'I challenge you to a BRAWL TO THE DEATH!'

'I already said: I'm not interested!' Drago shouted before curling up into a stubborn ball.

'Stop fighting!' Momo shouted- well not shouted, she was just way to perfect to raise her voice by such a degree but she still somehow managed to make herself heard above the rambling conflict in the classroom… somehow.

Just then the bell rang and everyone trampled outside like a herd of elephants. Meanwhile the girls who had been fairly silent since the beginning of chapter 1 finally spoke up. They all gathered in a tight little circle discussing the newcomer.

'This is a problem,' Runo said, she was still fuming from the fact that Dan was now cheating on her in front of her face and treated as if she wasn't there.

'Yes she must be stopped,' Alice said, she was usually the calm, mature one in the group but today her face was unlike its usual elegant self, it was screwed up in anger, her eyebrows drawn together to form a large V.

'And I don't even have any cousins!' Julie said, 'None of my parents ever had siblings.'

Just then, Momo walked over. Because with every Sue story, the Sue will always interact with the Canon characters- thus screwing up Canon. With every step she took, someone in the world was saved from a fatal illness- you see her very presence was a sign from the above. Runo sighed. 'Brace yourself,' she said, her body becoming tense, Momo, ignoring the tension only approached closer.

'Hello Julie and friends,' she said in her heavenly voice, 'May I sit with you and your friends?'

All three girls exchanged grim looks, Alice was first to break the silence. 'UUh- just hang on a second… everyone Group Huddle.'

'We can't let her into our group,' Julie said, stating the obvious.

'Wait, if we let her into our group then we can learn all her weaknesses and defeat her,' Runo said gleefully.

'But if we let them into our group she'll make all the guys go 'coo coo' on us, we can't let that happen,' Alice said.

Runo thought about it, it took her a whole minute for her brain to process the information. 'I guess you're right,' she growled.

'But even if we don't let her in, she'll still crazifie( don't think that's a word but who cares), the guys anyway,' Julie stated. Everyone exchanged looks. Julie DID have a point there.

'OK, then we agree to let her into our group but not REALLY let her into our group,' Runo said. When everyone agreed, they turned around to find Momo flirting with a bunch of older senior guys.

'NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!' came a voice from a distance and they turned to find two figures galloping towards them at top speed, dust was flying in a large cloud behind them. The three girls jumped out of the way to avoid a speeding Dan and Shun running towards them like two cheetahs on crack. In seconds the two insignificant senior boys were reduced to dust.

Alice, Julie and Runo all sweat-dropped. Dan and Shun started arguing, shaking their fists in each other's faces.

Momo raised a dainty hand to her plump, strawberry coloured lips. Her large, lilac eyes wobbled prettily as tears welled up in her perfect eyes. Each tear was crystal clear, actually- take that back clearer than crystal dropped onto a dead flower that immediately came back to life again. That was how perfect she was, even her tears could save lives. Dan and Shun immediately ceased fire to comfort the girl.

'We are sorry,' Shun said, still OOC, there was a blush on his cheek and shame in his eyes, 'We won't fight again.'

'Sure thing, man,' Dan agreed, tears welled in his eyes, since the girl he loved was crying.

'Has everyone gone crazy or what?' Julie said, looking disgusted. 'Did everyone just take crack or something today?'

'We need to set up a plan,' Runo said, she thought for a while but nothing came to her head. 'Damn! Shun always comes up with the good plans but unfortunately he's kind of occupied right now.' She glared at the love struck Shun. Alice and Julie also strained their brains but their was nothing they could think off.

'We need someone who is smart, good at strategies and logic, Runo said.

'And also hasn't gone completely crazy,' Alice added. The answer came to their heads like cheese on macaroni. The three girls rubbed their hands together in delight as they headed for a certain boy with blond hair and glasses.

_Well what do you think? People please review, if you alert the story and don't review then I will delete the story. I really hate it when you alert and don't review, as it is obvious you are reading the story yet you aren't bothering to review! Seriously people, I WILL delete if you keep up with that, you have been warned! _


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